I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday (or, for our Canadian friends, we hope you had a great Thursday). :)
We enjoyed a day packed with family, friends, and food. Maddie and Michael were busy making desserts (I'll do a separate post, possibly without pictures, since Maddie insisted on only wearing panties during the baking process).
To be honest, it was a tough holiday for me. I wanted to be overflowing with smiles and cheer, to be a walking example of thankfulness for God's love, but...
It was just hard.
I kept thinking how yesterday would've marked 17 weeks of pregnancy. Yesterday I might have felt the baby move or yesterday my belly might have been big and round (with a pregnancy; not just from eating!).
But, it wasn't and I know I let myself dip my toe, for all too long, into the pool of, "Why?Why?Why?"
Sometimes I feel like for every two steps forward, I find myself being pulled one step back. And, I can tell when it's happening. I get cloudy and sad and drift into a vast land of "What-ifs." And even though I know when that mood is about to strike, it's hard to pull myself back to reality.
So, I spent much of the afternoon yesterday in that place. I felt incomplete and discontent. I often feel an aching toward searching for something. Something that's missing. Someone that's missing. My dreams are often filled with me searching and searching, but waking up with such a hurt...
It wasn't until last night, after Maddie was tucked into bed, that I really let myself go there. Go to that sad place, acknowledge it and let it go... If just for a very little bit.
Because I am thankful. I look at where my marriage was, just this time last year, and I feel so terribly blessed. I thank God for his restoration in our lives and for his faithfulness in carrying each of us through our own struggles. The warmth of Maddie's hugs and the passion in her, "I love you Mama!" is enough to stop me in my step, no matter what I'm doing, and thank Him for this little girl.
A warm house, family around a table, the two year old, spinning circles in her favorite twirly skirt...
I am thankful.
And, I am blessed.
We all have our thorns we wear. Some are big, some are smaller, but they all hurt.
But last night, I was thankful that I could take those hurts, lay them at His feet, and finally, give thanks for all I do have.
Now... Pictures! Grandma took some good family ones, so hopefully (hint, hint), she'll email those soon. :)

Little Miss Sass wasn't
totally excited about Nana's house being so packed. But, a laminated
Max and Ruby placemat (thank you
Keri!) kept her happy and occupied. I brought a tiny plate, cup and silverware (from her play kitchen) so that she could set her own place at the table.

After eating (and a wardrobe change for the toddler), we headed to the school across the street.
My sisters and I rode bikes.
They make me wish I was a twin, too. :)

Maddie was very excited to dig in the sand with Poppa, TT and Veronica.
But.
As soon as we got there, she announced that she had to go to the bathroom.
And so...
We turned and headed home. :)