Recently

Recently, this little girl seems so much

older.

She's taller, her hair is longer and her feet are bigger.

But it's not just that.

And it's hard to pinpoint what exactly it is.

She's caring and compassionate. She asks how I slept or how Grayson is doing.

She loves to talk on the phone, asking Nana how she's feeling or asking Mike how his students did in school.

She has amazing manners (well, in my opinion!) and is incredibly independent.

She cleans up her spills, gets her own water and brushes her teeth.

Recently she's just seeming so grown up to me, and I'm not sure how I feel. I watch her play with friends or solve problems or put on shoes and I get a little twinge that she really is growing up.

Which, I know, is a good thing. :)

It gave me a little panic attack when I had to fill out on her preschool forms for next year that she'd be starting kindergarten in the fall of 2012.

2012.

It's 2011 right now!

She's just my baby. My sidekick, my shadow, my everyday.

And, she's growing up so quickly.

Mom's Night!

What a special night Miss Maddie and I shared!

Her sweet preschool hosted a Mom's Night and Maddie was SO excited. She was excited to go to preschool two times in one day, she was excited to go in the evening and she was super thrilled to sing her new, special songs for me!

Mike took a thousand pictures of us and I look like a whale in all of them. Ha!

Maddie looks adorable though. :)

She was skipping and leaping and asking every 30 seconds, "Is it time to go yet?!"

First, we went to her classroom. We worked together to decorate pots and then planted flower seeds. :)

Then we all sat and played and her teacher read us all a book about mothers.

After, everyone headed into the hall where the music teacher led the kids in so many songs (so, SO many songs as mommy sat on the floor! Ha!).

She sang SO sweetly and knew all the words to all the songs. I loved it (and videotaped almost all of it!).

On our way home, I surprised her with a trip to get ice cream.

What a fun night and again, I'm left feeling so thankful for such an awesome preschool (and an awesome daughter!!).

Random Cell Phone Pics :)

I have some cute pictures from my cell phone and even though I post them on Facebook, I thought I'd blog them too. I'm so thankful for a camera phone, since I can take pictures throughout the day, without lugging around my big camera.

Maddie's new favorite show is Jake and the Neverland Pirates, on the Disney channel.

Mike gave her some special paper and she immediately wanted to draw all the characters from the show. :)

We had our first ever parent-teacher conference and it went so well!

The teacher is a sweetheart and had so many great things to say that afterward, we went to Chuck E. Cheese to celebrate. She loved it!

She's also started staying an extra hour on Thursdays so that she can eat lunch and play with her friends. I was hesitant to do this (even though it's only an extra $4!) because I thought it'd be too long of a day, but she actually gets mad when she doesn't get to stay long on Tuesdays!

We're still teaching Sunday school once a month and Mike is so, so good at it. As my energy level drops, he's just stepped up and the kids adore him. :)

Maddie got to celebrate her friends' 4th birthday (sweet twins Mia and Jacob!) at a cupcake place. She loved it!

I got to celebrate Spring with a crafting night with girlfriends! My friend Amy hosts these once a month and it's so fun to get together and make cute projects.

And finally, Grayson's artwork got hung above his crib! I've actually rearranged it since this picture was taken (surprise, surprise! haha) and I think it turned out great!

I think that's it! Well actually, there's like, I don't know, 20 more, but I won't bore you all. Ha!

This girl

*This girl... sleeps from 6:30pm until about 7:30am. Everyday.

*Wakes up every morning wanting to tell me that a) she never fell asleep b) she hopes I have a lot of tutoring students (because she knows that she gets to stay with Nana longer if I do and c) she would like some milk.

*Has 3 blankets that are all equally her "favorite."

*Insists that her baby brother's name be Mickey Mouse. Not open for discussion.

*Says that her favorite things to do are: Sunday school, dance class and drink lemonade.

*Will only play Candyland (her favorite game) with her daddy.

*Belts out last summer's VBS songs all the time. Post office, grocery store... She's a singer. :)

*Would rather see characters than go on rides at Disneyland.

*LOVES bathtime but insists that showers are "scary."

*Is the best daughter and more than I could've ever imagined. She didn't get up until nine this morning and I realized just how I much I missed her... occasional tantrums and all. :)

Week in Pictures

When I had a small camera, I used to carry it in my purse and take pictures daily.

But now that my camera is bigger, it's too bulky to carry around so I use my phone for lots of pictures.

They're not the greatest quality, but at least they document our days, right?

And, I just realized that I uploaded all of these in reverse order. So, we're starting more currently and working back through the week!

Maddie had purple day at school. Once a week (or every other week sometimes), they have a color-themed day where they wear the specific color, bring something of that color to share and do crafts and snack based on the color, too.

She loves it. Loves. It.

I know I've said it before, but I'm just so, so happy that she's loving preschool and it has been such a positive experience in her life.

Ahhh, Disney.

As a treat, I took Maddie out for the morning, after my doctor's appointment (baby boy is doing well and continually kicked the doppler, haha! The doctor commented on how "strong" he was!).

Anyway, we walked Disney for about 3 hours and I snapped/pulled/tweaked something in my back/hip and have been fairly miserable since. :(

But, Maddie had a blast and I think we got to see 12 characters! If/when we go again, we'll have to go at a much slower pace and hopefully have another adult with us so that I can take breaks.

On Monday, we celebrated our friend Hania's birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese. Maddie and Hania were very brave and rode the "rollercoaster." :)

If you have a Lakeshore near you, go on Saturday mornings. They do free crafts for the kids and it's always so fun!

Mike and Maddie made an igloo this past week.

We haven't done a ton of Valentine's Day crafts, though she loved all the work we did with conversation hearts, from graphing to counting to patterning.

Check HERE for lots of great ideas.

And finally, the week started (I will learn my lesson and upload the right way next time!) off with a trip to Ikea (and an executive meeting between these two). Baby boy's room is 95% done and just needs a slip cover for the chair and some frames to go up. Well, and it needs him. We can't wait until he's here to complete the room (and the family!).

Sacrifice?

My friend recently posed a question on Facebook and ever since she did, I can't stop thinking about it. It's definitely sparked a lot of internal thought and while I don't know where this entry is going, maybe if I put my thoughts down, I can sort things out (and no, there are no pictures to this post and yes I know, that's like breaking a cardinal rule of good blogging; ha!).

The question she asked was if we, her Facebook friends, thought everyone could be a stay at home mom if they adjusted their cost of living. There were lots of responses, and I loved reading everyone's thoughts. Most people weighed in that yes, it's possible to cut back and make sacrifices so that the mom can be home.

I will say that no, I don't think every mother could be a stay at home mom, nor would every mother want to exclusively stay at home with the children. There are so many factors, from personal desire to debt to family situations. I don't think that every mom should stay home and of the same accord, I know that there are many stay at home moms who would probably really enjoy going back into the workplace.

But, so many people talk about the sacrifices one has to make when the choice is made to "stay home." And, I think it's that word, sacrifice, that keeps getting to me.

Do I, or have Mike and I, sacrificed so that I can stay home with Maddie?

By definition, to sacrifice can mean the act of surrendering something "so devoted."

Many of you know that I used to be an elementary school teacher. I'd be hard pressed to find someone who adored their job as much as I did. I was, what most might consider, a total workaholic, and devoted every spare ounce of money and time to my students. I loved every moment, until Maddie was born. I remember driving to work when she was only about seven weeks old (I returned to the classroom and taught until she was about 3 months old before resigning) and just sobbing. It was the first time in my years of teaching that I hated the classroom and desperately wanted out.

And so by that definition, I sacrificed nothing. I had become completely devoted to my new role, the new season of my life, and for us, that was staying home with our daughter.

To be fair, neither Mike nor I have ever had expensive tastes. We've never longed to take expensive vacations, buy name brand clothes or drive brand new cars. Perhaps if we did, then there would be a financial sacrifice.

I don't know why I have such an aversion to the word sacrifice. I found another definition that stated: The surrender of something prized for the sake of something considered as having a higher claim.

And in that regard, yes, I did sacrifice (so I can chill out about the word! Ha!).

I'm not saying that life wouldn't be financially more cushy if I was still in the classroom. We own a home in an expensive part of the country, we have loans from both of our Masters programs and Mike is a middle school teacher (not typically known for their enormous salaries!).

But, I wouldn't change a thing. I feel that, in all seriousness, this life that I'm living, being home with Maddie (and our little boy in a few months!) is where God wants me. He's cut so much red tape and He always provides. Always. I also take my job of stay at home mom very seriously. From keeping our home clean and organized to providing Maddie with as many learning, playing and life experiences that I possibly can squeeze into these most formative years, I embrace this position.

So, is there sacrifice when a mom chooses to stay home? And on the other hand, is there sacrifice when a mom chooses to go back to work? Thoughts?

Warmer Weather

Apparently, winter is gone and done with here in California (not as though it's that tough when it is here!).

I'm definitely not complaining, since the weather has been beautiful, but geesh...

It's almost like summer!

This past weekend, we spent a ton of time outdoors.

Lately, Maddie's favorite thing is to ride her bike.

As in, all. the. time. :)

She rides while Mike and I walk alongside her (aka: directing her back on the sidewalk, untangling her handle bars from fences and encouraging her to not wave both arms in the air while "steering.").

It's real peaceful. Ha!

We also had fun drawing on the sidewalk with chalk, playing at the playground and helping Mike with the gardening (well, I didn't help and I'm sure Maddie's "help" was questionable, but we at least tried to keep him company!).

Winter Formal!

Well, not my Winter formal (that was, um, 13 years ago?) but my sisters' first Winter formal!

Maddie was sick, but we headed over to see the pretty girls get ready.

Annie, my mom and Megan

Annie, my dad and Megan

(They are identical twins but they have always looked SO different to me. In these pictures, they REALLY look different, but maybe it's just me?)

My brother's girlfriend, Veronica, did their hair and make-up and of course, Maddie had to get in on the action too. So, after a little eye shadow and lip gloss, all three girls were ready! :)

2010 in Review

I thought I'd take a minute (well, it took way more than a minute because I sat and looked through practically every one of the over 1,200 pictures from 2010) and recap our year,

with pictures of course! :)

Our year started out with Maddie's half birthday celebration as she rang in the big 2.5s. Ha! We had a pizza party with family and friends and she got to build a Hello Kitty stuffed animal at Build-a-Bear.

Mommy and Maddie (and Daddy when he was home) spent lots of mornings at Disneyland, sometimes with friends and sometimes just the two of us.

The mornings that it was just the two of us were some of my very favorites.

After months and months of skin troubles, our girl was finally diagnosed with allergies to corn and chocolate. I know you can't see it in this picture, but it was on this day that we went swimming that Mike and I finally decided to do the allergy testing on her. She had over 20 active hives and we just knew that she couldn't live on Benadryl without a reason.

The testing was so quick and easy and with a modified diet, her skin is welt and itch-free now.

And painfully, after our second consecutive miscarriage, my sweet husband complied with my need to do something. To change my world in a way I could control.

For me, it was redecorating.

The whole house. Ha!

It kept us busy over the course of about 5 months and what a lifesaver it was for me.

And with the pain of losing pregnancies, we went away. Just the two of us, to celebrate all that was good and hopeful.

There were lots of playdates throughout the summer, from beach days to tea parties to concerts in the park.

Mike got ready to start teaching at the middle school...

And even tried his very first carrot, too! Haha! Big changes, huh?!

Our sweet girl celebrated her 3rd birthday and we rocked it with a massive (read: party that snowballed into a huge event!) Tinkerbell-themed party.

We got away with my family for our annual summer vacation, enjoying every minute of Mike's break and our time together.

Maddie still says that it was the best vacation of her life.

Time for Tots was launched!

Maddie kept on dancing, performing in recitals and loving everything about ballet.

Belle and the Beast partied hard on Halloween. :)

And, we found out we were pregnant again! Right before we were about to try medical intervention, God blessed us with another pregnancy.

And, the belly has begun to grow! :)

We are 95% certain that this little one is a boy and we can hardly wait to meet him in the Spring. Maddie has picked out names, ranging from "Snowman Tutu" to "Gilbert" to "Baby Bruder."

Miss Maddie also started preschool and transitioned so smoothly (it was much harder for me!). She's such a great girl and has grown up so much. Every single time she recaps her day for me (she only goes twice a week for 2.5 hours), I tear up! Ha!

And, that brings us to December and the end of the year!

I hope you all had a wonderful year. Ours was filled with a fair share of ups and downs but fortunately, more ups than downs. :)

Happy New Year!

{Happiness}

Today was a good day.

Maddie had her first "share day" at school and was so eager and excited (so eager that she tried getting up at 2am AND 4am for it!).

I got to spend some time chatting with her teacher (because I am that totally high strung mom that has lost sleep over her having friends or being scared) and she told me that she's so impressed how well Maddie has adapted and fit in. She said she talks, plays and dances well (she said she dances a lot). :)

Maddie came home singing sweet songs that the music teacher had taught them and even asked me how my morning was.

To see her thriving in this new environment makes my heart swell. We're so proud of her.

My sisters got asked to their Winter formal dance and I don't know why, but my goodness, it struck a chord with me! They're juniors in high school, but I still remember (vividly, down to what I was wearing!) the day they were born. Gosh, I actually remember plastering my notebooks with their ultrasound pictures. Ha!

They are such good girls (mostly; ha!) and I can't wait to see them all dressed up.

Maddie, however, is absolutely livid that a) a boy didn't bring her a rose and that b) she doesn't get to go to "the ball." :)

I've started feeling our little pumpkin wiggle and flip and even tap me and it's an indescribable feeling. When he makes himself known, I find myself crying, thanking God and begging for just a little more movement... All at the same time. :)

He kicked today while I was tutoring and I made the poor student stop reading, stop talking and stop moving, all to see if he'd do it again (he didn't; ha!).

It was just a good day and it feels so good to be happy. As more time passes, I think less and less of where we were two years ago. Well, I guess it's not a matter of me thinking less of it, but more of an acceptance that those events led us to where we are today. The highs, the lows. It's brought us all here and there isn't anger anymore. I know we wouldn't be who we are without those trials. I am thankful for our faith and our family and friends that have always supported us.

To be holding hands with my husband to watching our sweet Maddie twirl and sing (probably to a Tangled song) to feeling this new life squirm and stretch inside me...

Blessed.

An Easy-to-Do Scavenger Hunt!

This was such a cute activity that Mike set up for Maddie that I thought I'd share.

When she and I got home one afternoon from work (I tutor and my mom watches her everyday; God bless her!), Mike talked to Maddie on the phone and asked her if she wanted to play a real life game of Blues Clues.

Um, yes!

She was so excited. He handed her the first clue (he'd drawn a blue paw print on one side)...

and by using pictures, it told her where to go next!

He drew pictures of things like the piano, the couch, the toilet, the fireplace.

I think there were 12 clues in all!

She had a BLAST running around and finding the hidden clues!

The final clue led her to the mixer, where a small bag of toys (compliments of one of his students!) was waiting for her!

I will say that after this first go-round, she INSISTED that we play again.

And again.

And again.

Ha! So, be prepared. But, it was such a great logical thinking and reasoning activity and was a huge hit!