Blessings

When I got up a few mornings ago, it struck me how different my days are now, ever since Grayson's arrival. Where Maddie and I used to sleep in until well past eight (well, she still sleeps in!), I find myself waking up around 5 or 6 to nurse. Our casual mornings of slow breakfasts with her curled up next to me as I checked emails have slipped away, replaced with slightly harried mornings, rushing to get shoes on the right feet, diapers changed, tummies filled, and strollers loaded.

And even though every ounce of my Type-A personality screams for more order and calm, I love every second.

I love preparing breakfast while Grayson sits on my hip and grabs my earrings. I love looking over to see Maddie helping flip Grayson over when he gets himself into a jam on the floor. I love laying out outfits for two little people.

But most of all, I love packing these important creatures into the car and pulling out of the driveway. My favorite part of it all is looking in my rearview mirror and seeing those two sweet faces peeking at me, filling up my mirror. Little brother is, undoubtedly, watching big sister, gazing intently at her face while she entertains us both with songs or stories.

I feel so content and so happy. Sometimes I worry that life is too good... That saying that out loud will somehow jinx me. But then I try and not be silly, and just enjoy this season of our life, praising Him for all these blessings. A season of tiny toes, preschool drop-offs, ballet practices, and so many giggles.

After our loss in October, almost two years ago, I couldn't have imagined that these days would ever be. These days that are so, so sweet. And sometimes, I do get sad that we don't have a one and a half year old running around, but then I wouldn't have my Grayson. My little man who has so totally stolen my heart. Truly, our rainbow baby... That after such a storm of sadness and loss, a burst of life and color that filled our hearts.

There's a song by Laura Story called Blessings and both Mike and I love the lyrics (listen to it if you haven't heard it yet!). One of the lines is, "What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near?" I think about that line often because there have been so many sleepless nights in my life over the past few years: separation and restoration, wanting and waiting and loss.

And now, the greatest sleepless nights of all: our baby boy.

Thank you Lord for all your blessings and for making yourself so near to my family and to me.

Happy Sunday, friends. :)